It’s that time of year when we’re packing up the last of the festive detritus and looking forward to the first spring flowers … possibly deciding what to do with an unwanted Christmas gift or two. You’ll know the type of thing – something that is clearly of no use to anyone, or which was bought with little real insight into the person it was intended for. If I sound like an ungrateful Grinch, I’m not really … I was simply reminded of another dodgy offer that came my way just before Christmas.
As I mentioned in my November missive, Dorset Council has recently drawn up a list of assets that it wishes to dispose of … by offering them to parish and town councils (well yes, lovely: let’s all write a list of stuff we no longer wish to do. Mine will fill this magazine).
I opened the spreadsheet with not a little glee, thinking of opportunities and projects to develop our parish infrastructure, especially with nearly 300 new houses being dumped on our nearest fields. However, I soon came back down to earth with a thud. The list was definitely a ‘wish list’ … but no part of it registered on my wishes.
Instead, this list is a grand dump from council HQ of anything that involves work on their part which doesn’t generate income. Or, as I continued to read down the list, things that could cause problems in the future.
The offers for my own patch include an area of land that we, the parish, already own. There were patches of grass labelled as ‘picnic areas’ that would obviously need a regular mower – or some hungry goats. I saw that another parish has been offered the opportunity to grab an old dump site, complete with festering toxic waste cocktails that will clearly be an issue in years to come. There were lots of loos looking for new ownership. Obviously they will need to be maintained – and that raises another point: what if no one takes on the loos, and the council decides to close them? How will older people and the disabled manage?
I wish them a seagull
As I examined the asset list, I couldn’t find a single thing that would be useful to the parish. What was potentially viable was in reality already owned, either by us or someone else. You do have to wonder about the list’s accuracy, if there are assets on it that don’t even belong to Dorset Council!
The entire exercise raises even further concerns for smaller parishes around volunteering and maintenance. Most of our own volunteers who cut the parish grass are in the over-75 age group, and we are not getting anyone younger or fitter coming forward to help with maintenance, so we are increasingly looking at contractors. Plus, some of the work required is heavy labour, where machinery is needed.
Then, like every parish, we have a few rewilding gurus hell-bent on turning all our verges into jungles – all well and good until the plants die off and the complaints start because it looks a mess, or you can’t see to pull out at a junction.
All this gets me grumbling over my coffee. The fire sale of unwanted Christmas gifts from the council all comes with caveats. Very little that is income-generating will be given to parish and town councils. Naturally, though, the maintenance bills for all of it will need to come from the precept, which means we’ll get the blame for raising it.
And where does it stop? Cornwall Council has just decided it will no longer be emptying dog bins and litter bins in some areas, including social housing sites. Not that I want to plant ideas in Dorset Council’s money-saving plans, but just imagine if that happened here? Who does the council think will take on that job, especially with all the issues on accessing waste and recycling centres – and just getting people to pick up dog mess in the first place. I hope the well-meaning Cornish councillor who dreamed up the notion steps in something smelly and nasty – or a seagull pinches their pasty.
Not on my patch
And another thing (sorry, I’m on a roll this morning). Parish councils spend a lot of time trying to recruit new councillors. It’s no longer the domain of white middle class retired old men (and yes, I know, most are absolute gems with a plethora of knowledge). The people coming forward today are younger and have families and jobs. Parish councillors are unpaid – there’s a limit to the amount of work they can do when they have other commitments and mortgages to pay. We also have the incoming Millennials and Generation Z, who work entirely differently from the Baby Boomers and Gen X.
Good parish councillors work hard. While we are batting off developer number five from trying to create yet more unaffordable luxury homes or working to save the village pub, taking on a bit of grass that needs mowing because the council doesn’t want to do it is not a priority. Frankly, when I desperately need help, advice and support to deal with macho developers determined to turn villages into ticky-tacky dormitory towns, I’m just not going to take on the local authority responsibilities. I want the best possible outcome for my patch – and that includes not making it a dumping ground for other people’s problems.
***The Dorset Insider is a no-holds-barred column pulling back the curtain on local affairs with sharp insight, unfiltered honesty and the occasional raised eyebrow. Written by a seasoned parish councillor who prefers to remain anonymous (for obvious reasons), it cuts through the noise to expose the frustrations of grassroots politics, and say what others won’t. Rest assured, their identity is known – and trusted – by the editorial team. Expect opinion, candour and a healthy dose of exasperation …***
