Wessex Group has donated £5,000 to Marie Curie, the UK’s leading end-of-life charity, following a year of dedicated fundraising efforts. Each year, employees of the Shaftesbury-based company select a charity to support, committing 12 months to raising funds through a variety of initiatives – including challenges, bake sales and the company’s annual Christmas raffle. The donation was presented to a Marie Curie representative, marking another successful year of fundraising for Wessex Group, which has a long-standing commitment to supporting both local and national charities. Tracey Martin at Wessex Group said: ‘We are delighted to support Marie Curie and contribute to the incredible work they do. Our teams have come together to raise funds in a variety of ways, and it has been inspiring to see the generosity and enthusiasm from our staff.’ Over the years, Wessex Group has supported numerous charities, including local organisations such as The Brave and Determined Company, who provide access to essential counselling services, and BooBs, Shaftesbury’s breast cancer awareness charity. Kara Frampton at Marie Curie expressed gratitude for the donation, saying: ‘We are incredibly grateful for Wessex Group’s support. These funds will help us continue to provide essential care and support to those who need it most.’ Marie Curie provides vital end-of-life care, offering nursing services, hospice care, bereavement support, and information services to people living with terminal illness and their families. Wessex Group, based in Shaftesbury, has been providing expert trade services for over 60 years, offering fire and security, electrical, building, and maintenance services across the South of England.
Pupils, staff and ponies came together last month at Hanford School to mark a major milestone – the 50th anniversary of the Hanford Group RDA (Riding for the Disabled). To celebrate the occasion, Hanford’s younger pupils surprised the RDA volunteers with a specially-baked cake at the end of their weekly riding session. The event recognised the incredible work of the Hanford Group RDA, which has provided life-enhancing riding experiences for children with special needs for five decades.
Theo and Guy The group, led by Chief Instructor Sandy Millard, has been running sessions at Hanford since 1974, welcoming children from Yewstock School in Sturminster Newton, many of whom are on the autistic spectrum. Each term, a group of around ten children take part, with RDA volunteers guiding two dedicated ponies, Guy and Theo, on rides around Hanford’s beautiful grounds. Sandy, who has been involved with the group for 38 years, explained the impact of these sessions: ‘It is so uplifting for the children to be on a pony – the beams on their faces are so rewarding for us volunteers. They’re always so eager to ride that our biggest challenge is encouraging them to get down at the end! Their teachers tell us it’s the highlight of their week.’ Each ride is supported by three volunteers per child, ensuring a safe and engaging experience. The ponies, stabled alongside Hanford’s own riding ponies, are also cared for by the school’s dedicated stables team and receive plenty of attention from the pupils. Charley Pearson, head of riding at Hanford, said: ‘Riding is at the heart of life at Hanford, and we see daily how much our pupils benefit from being around and riding ponies. To be able to share this with children from the wider community is something we truly value.’ Hanford Group RDA also held an afternoon tea party for around 35 past and present coaches, volunteers and friends, and enjoyed an afternoon of tea and cake as well as reminiscing and sharing old photos. The Hanford Group RDA is always looking for volunteers – no riding experience is required, just a willingness to help, enjoy the outdoors and support children with special needs. To get involved, contact Sandy via Hanford School Office: office@hanfordschool.co.uk or 01258 860219.
We are seeking to appoint an HR Officer who has the technical knowledge and experience of the full range of HR requirements consistent with a small independent school employing just over 100 staff.
The role will be based on our school site working 40 hours a week year round with remuneration dependent on experience and skills but likely to be in the range £30-35k.
The successful applicant will:
• be responsible for all stages of an employee life cycle – from recruitment to exit
• act as liaison with the school’s external payroll provider
• largely autonomously manage routine HR matters such as staff absences (sickness, maternity, paternity), flexible working requests
• provide HR guidance together with procedural and administrative support to school senior managers including occasions where contentious HR mattersarise such as disciplinary procedures
• be the owner of all HR filing and administration records and processes including the Single Central Record and related safeguarding checks
You will be part of a friendly and supportive team, and training will be available to enhance skills. Our staff also benefit from free parking, free refreshments, and a free three course lunch during the school term time.
Experience of school HR processes and an understanding of the Single Central Record would be desirable, but full training will be given a successful candidate whose experience has been gained in sectors other than education.
Further details may be obtained from our website or from HR on 01258 882306 or email hr@miltonabbey.co.uk. Applications must be submitted on the school’s application form. The closing date for applications is Wednesday 2nd April 2025. We reserve the right to close this vacancy early if we receive sufficient applications for the role. Please note that we are not accepting applications for this position through any employment agency and all applications should be made direct to the school.
Milton Abbey School is committed to safeguarding and promoting the welfare of children. The appointment will be the subject of an enhanced disclosure from the Disclosure and Barring Service. Additionally, please be aware that Milton Abbey School will conduct online searches of shortlisted candidates. This check will be part of a safeguarding check, and the search will purely be based on whether an individual is suitable to work with children. To avoid unconscious bias and any risk of discrimination a person who will not be on the appointment panel will conduct the search and will only share information if and when findings are relevant and of concern.
Please note that our school is a no smoking/vaping site.
Hall & Woodhouse (H&W) has more than doubled the capacity of its chef apprenticeship scheme, adding 36 new places through partnerships with two additional colleges. The leading family brewer is now working with Bournemouth and Poole College and Exeter College to offer new apprenticeships in hospitality and catering, building on the success of its existing programme with Chichester College.
Hall and Woodhouse Chef Apprentices Chichester College
The first intake of 12 Level 3 (Senior) Production Chef Apprenticeships will begin at Bournemouth and Poole College on 25th February 2025, followed by a second cohort of 12 in the autumn. Exeter College will launch its own 12-place apprenticeship course in September 2025.
Apprentices receive professional training and hands-on experience throughout the 12-month course, which is specifically designed to complement their roles as Head or Sous Chefs at Hall & Woodhouse. The programme focuses on crafting dishes from H&W’s handcrafted menu, using carefully selected ingredients and maintaining the company’s high culinary standards.
Dean Livesey, Director of HR at Hall & Woodhouse, said: “We are thrilled to extend our apprenticeship programme to even more chefs across the south. By working closely with respected forward-thinking colleges, we are delivering the required skills to boost employability, develop our future leaders, and shape the future of the hospitality sector.
“Providing our chefs with access to the apprenticeship course enables great people to earn at least the Real Living Wage and develop their skills. Our apprentices are equipped with all the tools they need to grow confidently in their roles and fast-track their progression. Of the 26 apprentices that undertook the Chichester course in 2024, nine have already received promotions.”
The innovative programme was first developed by H&W in collaboration with Chichester College and launched in February 2024. This year, Chichester College will also provide an additional 12 Level 3 (Senior) Production Chef Apprenticeship places.
Abi Dalton, 29, from The Plough in Southampton, has been Head Chef for almost a year. She initially joined The Plough as a Sous Chef and was quickly promoted, thanks in part to the apprenticeship scheme, which built on her previous hospitality experience. Now leading a team of five, Abi is responsible for managing a busy kitchen.
Anthony Woodhouse Chef Apprentice Chichester College
Commenting on her role, Abi said: “I love being part of the team at The Plough. The support I receive from my General Manager and wider team back at the Hall & Woodhouse Brewery is second to none. I am proud to be running the kitchen and to have helped play a role in the pub achieving a record-breaking level of sales last year.
“My skills and experience far outweigh what I would have learnt by only being in a classroom. H&W is committed to my learnings beyond my apprenticeship—if I ask for support, I receive it. I have already undertaken in-depth training on Food Hygiene Standards from our in-house trainer, with further support planned for my team.”
Hall & Woodhouse continues to invest heavily in the development of its people. The company was recognised in 2024 as one of The Sunday Times Best Places to Work (Big Companies category). In addition to its chef apprenticeship programme, H&W runs brewing and engineering apprenticeships, management and leadership development courses with Institute of Management and Leadership qualifications, and sponsors future leaders through degrees and MBA programmes.
The highly-anticipated Vale Pantry Family Hub Food Bank Run returned on Saturday 22nd February. It’s an event that has become a cherished tradition over the last three years, hosted by the ever-enthusiastic Dorset Doddlers running club. The community-driven event combines fitness with generosity as runners came together to support local families through food and monetary donations. A special moment this year was the opening of the new Vale Pantry Family Hub in Sturminster Newton. This expansion allows the pantry to offer even more valuable services to families in need, in addition to their already popular social supermarket. It was the perfect backdrop for this year’s run, emphasising the growing role the Pantry plays in supporting families throughout the community. More than 50 runners, ranging in age from five to (well over!) 50, gathered at the start line, excited to tackle one of three routes covering one, three or four miles. The Dorset Doddlers, known for their welcoming and friendly atmosphere, led the charge, ensuring everyone felt supported no matter their pace. With a mix of seasoned runners and those just getting started, there was a real sense of camaraderie and shared purpose. The Food Bank Run is a national campaign, where clubs and running buddies run to their local food bank and fill it up in February – the time when many families are feeling the financial strain of the post-Christmas season. With the rise in food bank usage, from 1.1 million people a decade ago to around three million today, the need for events like this is more crucial than ever. Every mile run and every donation made is a small but meaningful step toward easing that burden. The Doddlers’ event was a tremendous success, raising vital funds and donations for the Vale Family Hub. It was a reminder of how powerful local communities can be when they come together for a common cause – and a reflection of the Dorset Doddlers’ commitment to making a positive impact both on and off the track. The Doddlers’ wish to extend a huge thank you to everyone who participated, donated and volunteered – your support makes a real difference!
Dorset artist Jack Dickson features on Bill Bailey’s BBC series, creating a powerful portrait of railway worker Rizwan Javed MBE
Dorset artist Jack Dickson beside his portrait, with Bill Bailey and Rizwan Javed (right)
Jack Dickson, a member of the art department at Bryanston School in Blandford, was featured on a recent edition of Bill Bailey’s BBC series Extraordinary Portraits. The programme showcased Jack’s portrait of Rizwan Javed, a railway worker whose quiet heroism has saved 29 lives. ‘I watched all three previous series and absolutely loved them,’ Jack told The BV. ‘As an artist who likes to tell people’s stories, I thought it would be amazing to take part. When the last series ended, I contacted the producers and put my name forward. It was a long shot, and I didn’t expect to hear back, but after a few weeks, they contacted me. There followed months of to-ing and fro-ing, interviews and waiting to see if what I did might suit any of their potential sitters. I finally got the call to confirm early in the summer last year.’ Jack is no stranger to high-profile portrait competitions, having appeared on Sky Arts Portrait Artist of the Year in 2020. ‘That was an intense but fantastic experience,’ he recalled. ‘Working under time pressure in that kind of environment is a real challenge, but it was amazing to be part of it. It definitely pushed me as an artist and also turned out to be amazing preparation for opportunities like Extraordinary Portraits.’
Jack’s portrait of Bill Bailey
Rizwan Javed MBE Over the past eight years, East Londoner Rizwan, who works for London Underground, has prevented 29 people from taking their own lives. His dedication has earned him an MBE for his work in mental health intervention. ‘As soon as I met Rizwan, I knew this was a story I had to tell,’ Jack said. ‘The more I got to know him and his family, the more I felt I had to do him justice. It is very rare to get so much time with a sitter and to get to know every aspect of their lives – it was a real privilege.’ Describing himself as an ‘artistic magpie,’ Jack immersed himself in Rizwan’s world, observing him at work on the Elizabeth Line and meeting his family. Rizwan, in turn, visited Jack’s studio in Blandford, accompanied by comedian and presenter Bill Bailey. As Jack worked, he wove together the threads of Rizwan’s story into a multilayered portrait that reflects his ‘humility and dignity.’ Rizwan was deeply moved by the final artwork. ‘You’ve got magic in your hand – you’re truly gifted and it’s beyond anything I ever expected,’ he said. ‘I felt comfortable enough to share deeply personal things with Jack, some of which even my family hadn’t heard.’ Jack responded: ‘I feel humbled by what you have to say – it really has been a privilege to do this and tell your story.’
Jack on Bill Jack reflected on the unique experience of working alongside Bill Bailey: ‘He has always been one of my heroes, and I’ve seen him live on a few occasions over the past 25 years. The old saying “never meet your heroes” just isn’t true. He was an absolute gent, very funny, as you would expect, but also completely down to earth. It was a little surreal to be sat at home in Blandford having lunch with him … but also strangely normal!’ The experience left a lasting impression on Jack. ‘Rizwan has had the biggest impact on me, and I now have a friend for life. His empathy, bravery and honesty are an example to us all. ‘The painting I made of him was the most ambitious piece I’ve ever taken on, and I think it has been a success. The show has obviously been great exposure for me and has resulted in a few interesting opportunities, but most importantly, I hope I have managed to shine a light on a truly extraordinary person.’ As a teacher at Bryanston, Jack’s day job is to nurture young artistic talent. ‘Young people ask the most challenging questions and take risks in their artwork that adults often won’t. There are a few incredibly talented portrait artists, but even more who are talented artists in general, who might turn their hands to portraits on occasion. I can’t wait to see what journeys they take.’
Extraordinary Portraits pairs talented artists with people who have powerful and inspiring stories to tell. The episode featuring Jack and Rizwan is available to watch on BBC iPlayer here. Jack says of the below portrait: ‘Bill Bailey kindly agreed to let me paint him during the filming of Extraordinary Portraits. This is in fact a painting he had a hand in making while he was visiting my studio. It was one of more surreal moments of my life, having Bill Bailey pottering around the house, chatting to the family, eating with us, meeting the dog. Made so extraordinarily normal, however, by how unfazed my mum and my children were and how down to earth and gracious the master of mirth, music and mischief was.’
The Museum of East Dorset is inviting local knitters and crocheters to contribute handmade woollen flowers to marking Dementia Action Week (19th–25th May) with a special Forget-Me-Not display, in support of those affected by dementia. Forget-Me-Nots are the symbol of the Alzheimer’s Society campaign, which brings people together each year to honour and remember those living with dementia. The museum is requesting crafters use the pattern here, and free wool in blue and yellow is available from its reception desk. The museum team hopes to collect hundreds of flowers to create a striking display.
Museum Director Francesca Hollow said: ‘We’d love people of all ages to take part – whether grandparents and grandchildren, school groups, or craft clubs. It’s a wonderful way to show support for those affected by dementia.’ Completed flowers should be returned by 23rd April so volunteers can assemble the display in time for Dementia Action Week. Francesca is also happy for forget-me-knots to arrive by post (please send them to 23-29 High St, Wimborne BH21 1HR), and the team are open to fabric forget-me-knots too, if you’re a sewer not a knitter!
Dementia-Friendly Activities at the Museum The Museum of East Dorset runs a variety of dementia-friendly programmes to support the community, including: Reminiscence Outreach Project – Using museum artefacts to spark memories and conversation, these sessions are delivered by experienced volunteers in care homes, day centres, and senior clubs across East Dorset. Times Gone By reminiscence sessions – Held monthly at the museum in partnership with Wimborne Library. Jolly Days at the Museum – Run by In Jolly Good Company, these engaging sessions focus on music, crafts, and gardening to improve mental and physical wellbeing. Craft and Chat on the third Monday of the month – A relaxed, social crafting session where visitors can bring their own project, try new crafts, and enjoy a friendly natter. The museum also provides dementia-friendly crockery in its garden café, along with fidget accessories to help visitors feel more comfortable.
The Museum of East Dorset is open Monday to Saturday, 10am to 4pm. For more information about dementia-friendly activities, visit museumofeastdorset.co.uk.
In recognition of International Women’s Day, it feels fitting to look back this month at MED’s founder – Hilda Coles was a woman ahead of her time. Born in 1907, she grew up in Wimborne, and was educated at the Wimborne High School for Girls in Allendale House during the First World War. She faced the usual societal constraints, but defied the gender norms of her time. At school she strongly disliked needlework, but excelled in sports, especially football and hockey – she continued to play with Wimborne Ladies’ Hockey Team for many years. Sometime during her schooldays – perhaps because of her great love of sport – Hilda earned the nickname Mick, which she remained for the rest of her life.
Hilda Coles in a duffle coat in front of a car she would have driven during her time in the Wrens
After finishing school, Hilda joined her father, Tom Coles, in running the family’s ironmonger’s business. Though she didn’t enjoy shop work, she absorbed valuable business skills. In her spare time, she became interested in amateur dramatics and helped the Women’s Institute productions behind the scenes, making props and painting scenery. Decades later, several people remembered a spectacular wind machine she had constructed for special effects.
1915 The front of the Coles Shop in the High Street with 2 men standing in the doorway, the one on the left probably Tom Coles
A Scottish adventure With the outbreak of the second world war, Hilda enlisted in the Women’s Royal Naval Service (Wrens), and was posted to Invergordon in Scotland. Mechanically-minded and independent, she worked in motor transport, driving trucks and cars across the rugged landscapes of northern Scotland, a job she loved. Her service was recognised with commendations and a mention in dispatches. She was discharged in 1946 and much to her friends surprise she returned to Wimborne and the shop. Just like her father, Hilda was interested in the history of Wimborne and they began to collect objects, starting with the unsold stock from the ironmonger’s and stationer’s shops – the latter being the reason the museum has one of the country’s finest collections of Victorian vinegar Valentines’ cards. Hilda was also a keen photographer, shooting the buildings and characters of Wimborne to keep a record for future generations.
Hilda Coles sitting on the running board of the family car
Birth of the museum Hilda inherited the ironmonger’s business 1953 following the death of her father. But instead of continuing in retail, she made a bold decision – one that would cement her place in Wimborne’s history. Seven years later, she permanently closed the shop to fulfil her father’s long-held ambition of transforming the building, known as the Priest’s House, into a museum.
1945 WRNS football team v Invergordon girls club. Hilda Coles rear, 2nd from right
Working closely with the Wimborne Historical Society, Hilda oversaw the creation of galleries initially in just three rooms on the ground floor, where she carefully curated the exhibits. Hilda’s vision was groundbreaking for the time – she saw the museum as ‘a centre of education and culture, and a place where children are welcome’ – an unusually enlightened view for the early 1960s. The Museum of East Dorset officially opened on 31st July 1962.
Hilda Coles on holiday and making tea
A Lasting Legacy For 25 years, Hilda managed the museum herself with the help of volunteers and support from the local community. Her business acumen, honed in her father’s shop, proved invaluable in keeping the museum financially viable. She was known for her forthright personality, a trait that – while not always endearing – was instrumental in securing lasting support for the museum. When she passed away in 1987, Hilda left the museum and its beautiful garden to the governors of Wimborne Minster, ensuring its continued existence. She also provided an endowment income to support its future.
1977 Hilda Coles with some Victorian valentine’s cards
Today, the Museum of East Dorset stands as a testament to her dedication and vision, preserving the rich heritage of the area for generations to come. Her determination, resourcefulness, and passion for her community continue to inspire, reminding us that history is not just something to be remembered – it is something to be actively preserved and shared.
A picture of Hilda stood beside the water pump in the Museum garden. She was known to say Sometimes I feel as though I’m beating my head against a brick wall, or trying to fill a basket with water
Photographs supplied by Museum of East Dorset. Copies of photos from the museum’s extensive library are available to buy. If you have any photos, slides, negatives or film relating to East Dorset that you would like to loan for copying, or to donate to the museum archives, they would be delighted to receive them. For either of the above, please email photographs@museumofeastdorset.co.uk
From Thatcher’s press pack to Strictly’s dance floor – ahead of his visit to Sturminster Newton, John Sergeant shares shocking biscuit news
John Sergeant
Few journalists can claim to have been shoved aside by Margaret Thatcher’s press secretary, reported live from war zones and also waltzed their way (somewhat clumsily) into the nation’s hearts on Strictly Come Dancing. But John Sergeant is no ordinary journalist. A veteran broadcaster with a career spanning more than five decades, John has interviewed prime ministers, reported from global conflict zones and witnessed history first-hand – standing at the Lincoln Memorial as Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his iconic I Have a Dream speech. Yet, despite his serious journalistic credentials, it was his gloriously uncoordinated yet utterly charming stint on Strictly that cemented his status as a national treasure. With the judges despairing and the public voting in their droves, he famously bowed out of the competition in week 10, saying: ‘The trouble is that there is now a real danger that I might win the competition. Even for me, that would be a joke too far.’ From Have I Got News For You to insightful documentaries on Britain’s history, John’s career has been nothing if not varied. He will be coming to The Exchange in Sturminster Newton on Saturday 29th March for an evening of humorous and thought-provoking conversation filled with anecdotes and recollections about his career (and Strictly). But today, we set aside politics and polkas to put him in the hot seat for some incisive, intelligent (and truly random) questions …
What’s your relationship with Dorset? When I was a child we used to holiday here – a fortnight in a wooden hut in Burton Bradstock. No electricity, no running water, and in the evenings our mother would sit by a paraffin lamp and read us stories. It was an unforgettable adventure. Later on, I filmed in Dorset for the One Show and made documentaries, and I often went sailing in Poole Harbour on a friend’s boat. But holidays when you are a child are always the best.
The last song you sang out loud in the car? Singing in the car? I don’t do it! At my age, when you’re driving you just spend your time trying not to hit people. You can’t just lean back and start singing. That would be madness.
The last film you watched? The last big film I made an effort to see in the cinema was Napoleon, directed by Ridley Scott. And it was AWFUL. Dreadfully boring and dull. And whatever you say about the real Napoleon, he wasn’t that. We’d gone to all the effort of seeing it in the cinema, too – we were cheated.
It’s Friday night, you have the house to yourself, no work is allowed. What will you do? I’d read some newspapers. I use PressReader on my iPad, and try and read half a dozen newspapers a day – around five in English, and one in French. Years ago I was the Paris correspondent for the BBC, and my French was terrible – I’m trying to catch up. I’d definitely do that job better now, just because my French has improved! One of the others is the Wall Street Journal, just to try and see if I can figure out what Donald Trump is up to. I often don’t succeed at that.
The best biscuit for dunking. I do not dunk. My mother would not have approved – it would have been letting the side down. She was born in Russia, and wanted to climb the social ladder. Dunking was not middle class enough.
What’s a sound that makes you happy? Waves on the seashore. It takes me back to my childhood in Dorset. And lots of sailing trips around the world, with me at the helm.
What would you like to be remembered for? Being amusing. I really do love to make people laugh. If I have made a joke that people find funny, it genuinely makes my day. Much more so than being brilliantly serious.
Your most annoying trait? I am a morning person. And when I wake up I am hungry. My first thought is food, and I immediately need to start talking about it: what will we be eating today? And when? Where will we get it? Who’s going to cook it? My wife Mary is not a morning person. She can’t think of a worse way of starting the day. She does get more interested and join in as the day goes along though.
What’s your secret superpower? Concentration. Often to the distress of other people around me – I really go into another world. It’s been a very useful skill, and it allows me to remember small important details. It’s weirdly powerful.
‘If you’re going to comfort yourself with food, you’ve got to go over the top’
What was the last gift you gave or received? My brother’s not been well, and I bought him a book while he’s been in hospital – called Orbital, it’s the last Booker prize winner. It was written by Samantha Harvey, a woman from Somerset who’s never been in space, and she’s written about six astronauts just sailing around the earth. Now I’ve interviewed an astronaut myself, and listened to many others – and my god they’re dull. But this book is brilliant, it’s such crazy writing skill. It really shows the power of descriptive writing. It’s amazing. Pure talent.
What’s your favourite quote? It’s an obvious one, but Seize The Day – carpe diem. Don’t waste a minute because life is short. I just think any day in which you don’t learn, or do, or achieve, is a wasted day.
What’s your comfort meal? In general I’m perfectly happy. But If I do need comforting, then it has to be good. Let’s say a dozen oysters, with a very good bottle of white burgundy. If you’re going to comfort yourself, you’ve got to go over the top.
What shop can you not resist? La Galcante – it’s a small shop in Paris near Notre Dame that sells old cartoons, and old newspaper cuttings that you just can’t get anywhere else. I have to go in if I’m near. I’ll inevitably spend good money on something that, once it’s home, is never as funny as when I saw it in Paris.
What little luxury would you buy with £10? A really expensive tin of speciality tea, preferably black leaf tea from Assam. I was once filming for the BBC on a tea plantation near Darjeeling in India. We were high in the mountains, surrounded by all the local women picking tea – and they all began to giggle, whispering and nudging each other. It turned out that one of them had told the others that I was there to look for a wife. I couldn’t talk to any of them after that without them starting to giggle – it’s such a fun memory. They couldn’t stop laughing at me. So a speciality tea from northern India isn’t just delicious, it reminds me of that special moment. I’ll happily travel 10,000 miles for a good joke.
The best crisps flavour? None. It should be just plain crisps, lightly salted. Any other taste seems just silly. If you want cheese or vinegar, go out and buy some.
Tell us about a recent great evening I went with my wife to the Royal Opera House – we had a brilliant meal in the Crush Room, and then saw a modern opera called Festen. Mary’s a teacher, and she had taught one of the cast. It was an extraordinary show, not an easy watch, but it was a fantastic cast, the staging and lighting were superb … it really was top grade British talent. And I just thought if not London, where? Nowhere. We all moan about the decline of Britain, but British talent is fantastically strong. It cheers me up. I spent far too much, mind … but it was a perfect evening.
What in life is frankly a mystery to you? Why my wife fancies certain famous people. I just don’t understand the strange fascinations. She’ll sometimes ask me to introduce her to someone and I’ll be entirely blank. I mean, yes, he’s alright, but no need to be silly …
You favourite book from last year? The Collected Dorothy Parker. She was such a brilliantly witty American writer, famous for founding a writing circle who used to meet at the Algonquin Hotel in New York. Just before Christmas I gave a series of talks on the Queen Mary, crossing the Atlantic, and when we got to New York, Mary and I stayed four nights at the Algonquin. It’s been refurbished but they still have a round table in the hall where she and other writers, including Groucho Marx, used to meet. One of my favourite quotes of hers is ‘Never complain, never explain’ which of course the British Royal family adopted. It’s such a clever phrase. If you’re thinking about moaning – just don’t. Then if you’re feeling the need to start talking, to explain why the thing is bad, why you want to moan, why someone’s at fault … still don’t. The other one I love is ‘Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.’ It’s just so fun – and every word is chosen with care. The ‘seldom’ is the key word there, it’s just clever word play. And of course, short sighted girls can come right up close to you so they can see you, which is attractive!
You have the power to pass one law uncontested – what would you do? Ban adults from riding their bikes on the pavement. It’s a clever one this. Because obviously it’s the teenagers who are the nuisance, but if you ban them, they’ll ignore it. BUT … if you allow little children to do it but ban the adults, teenagers are so desperate not to be seen as children that they’ll lump themselves into the adult ban voluntarily. See? It’s a sophisticated level of control.
An Audience with John Sergeant will be held at The Exchange in Sturminster Newton on Saturday, March 29th at 7:30pm. Tickets £20, available online: stur-exchange.co.uk
